It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
