Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize