I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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