We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
