it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.