please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
