well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
