If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize