I must be too annoying 4 u.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
