you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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