today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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