I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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