im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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