guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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