Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
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You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
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Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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