The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize