Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
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I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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