hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize