i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
