It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
