he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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