its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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