Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
