She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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