the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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