Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
40s are totally the cure
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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