He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
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