he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
