The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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