My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
