when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
