They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Randomize
