I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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