I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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