when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
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I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
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You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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