The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
