Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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