I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
