Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
