I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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