So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
