I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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