my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
