I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
