i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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