Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
