i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
