I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
