the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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