saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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