Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
