omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
