Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Boobs speak an international language.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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