I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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