Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
