What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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