we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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