it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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