my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
whose parrot is this?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
