He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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