I just gift wrapped bread.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
They have beer where we have blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize