Will you blow on my dice?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
