What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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